DUIphone

We can file this in the category "that's fucking interesting, man..."

The DUIphone may just be the innovation that tips the scales firmly into the iPhone camp. My buddies over at PSFK posted this link today that provides some more info. Good times.

Klosterman on GnR - genius (of course)

Of course when a person you admire on many levels shares your opinion on something, it feels good. In this case the admired person in question, Chuck Klosterman, is someone I look up to as a writer, as a cultural pundit, and also as a fellow connoiseur of hair bands (and basketball).

I can safely say I've probably read over 75% of anything Klosterman's ever written. I've read all his books, all his stories in Spin, GQ, The New York Times Magazine, etc. I used to work in PR and, once I had blown through all his more accessible material, I would use our media search tools to find everything he had written at the local papers he used to write for. I'd then print that up and read it straight through - at work, on the ferry, in the bathroom, and sometimes behind the wheel - until I was done.

Klosterman's writing gives me a huge broner, and I embrace that broner.

Anyone who has read Klosterman's work would agree with the statement at the end of his intro as a guest reviewer of Chinese Democracy in The A.V. Club - There is no one in the world more qualified to review the exhaustingly anticipated new Guns N' Roses album than he is.

If you read the review, you'll note that the comments section devolves into a sidebar discussion about people's own views on Klosterman, whether he's a hipster idiot, their take that he is the kind of guy who rents a movie based on what he imagines the guy behind the counter will think about him because of his choice rather than because it's what he wants to see, etc. These people are clowns. Their discussion is valid and kind of interesting and may or may not be true, but what they're missing is that Klosterman absolutely nailed his review, and the discussion should be about that.

The part that got me excited early was this paragraph:

Here are the simple things about Chinese Democracy: Three of the songs are astonishing. Four or five others are very good. The vocals are brilliantly recorded, and the guitar playing is (generally) more interesting than the guitar playing on the Use Your Illusion albums. Axl Rose made some curious (and absolutely unnecessary) decisions throughout the assembly of this project, but that works to his advantage as often as it detracts from the larger experience. So: Chinese Democracy is good. Under any halfway normal circumstance, I would give it an A.

Fuckin A, man. Couldn't have said it better - and actually also noted that there are 9 legitimately good songs on the album, which makes it quite the achievement against any objective measures - for which there may be none as it relates to Chinese Democracy.

Anyway, after a solid 12-15 listens at this point, I'm liking it more and more with each listen. I won't try to come with a new way to say this because Klosterman sums it up perfectly:

I find myself impressed by how close Chinese Democracy comes to fulfilling the absurdly impossible expectation it self-generated, and I not-so-secretly wish this had actually been a triple album...The final truth is this: He makes the best songs. They sound the way I want songs to sound. A few of them seem idiotic at the beginning, but I love the way they end...he did a good thing here.

New GnR - a first take

It's here. After only 17 years, it's here.

Now let me just start with a few qualifying statements and facts.

First of all, new Guns is not really Guns. Velvet Revolver is more Guns than this group of impostors to the throne. Sure Axl's the frontman and that carries some value. But let's be clear - this is not the same GnR and should be judged as a separate project.

Next, the world's been waiting almost two decades for this album. All the false starts, bad press, random bar fights with Tommy Hilfiger, ill-fated hair decisions (dreadlocks? cornrows?!?), and other assorted bullshit around Axl, his new band, and the album do not bode well for massive public success. The hype that has been building on itself for 17 years or so is crushing at this point, so an honest judgment of the music is gonna be pretty tough to extract from all the rest of it.

And I mean let's be honest - Bumblefoot and Dizzy Reed are only going to carry you so far.

All that said, I've been looking forward to this album since the day it was announced (I believe I was in high school at the time), and finally seeing the tracks lined up all nice and neat in my iTunes gives me a broner for sure. I've listened to the album 3 times through so far, and without getting into the details (we'll save those for a later post) - I fucking dig it.

I've struggled with my ability to be objective here. I mean I once almost tattooed a design on my shoulder giving prominence to guns and to roses as core design elements. (I still may in fact.) GnR was totally influential on my own musical upbringing, and is one of the few bands I still listen to on an almost daily basis. They're in the rotation for life. But do these facts predispose me to be more or less receptive to the band's new work? Arguments could be made on either side. I argue that I'm a harsher critic now because of my love of the old Guns. But am I so fucking excited that I'm going to be blind to what might be truly shitty music?

I think I can be fair.

Favorite tracks after 3 listens:
Sorry
Prostitute
Street of Dreams
This I Love
Madagascar
I.R.S.
Better
There Was a Time
Catcher in the Rye

And that's a lot of tracks. 9 of 'em in fact. Any album with 3 or more killer songs after the first few listens usually makes it into my "good album" category. More than that is just bonus. Triple that is fucking exciting. And as I listen over time I pull out more and more tracks that are interesting for various reasons. After 3 listens - still very much early days - I see this album having all the potential in the world to become great.

How does it map to the old Guns that I know and love? That's tougher to say. I mean the Use Your Illusion albums were a departure from the raw chaos that made Appetite so explosive - but Appetite was a totally new thing too, so anything derivative would have been by definition less explosive. So far I like Axl's more melodic tracks, and the harder stuff sounds more forced. It's different than the old Guns to be sure, but how might the band have evolved if it had stayed together? Velvet Revolver is a more direct descendant - musically and personnel-wise - of the true Guns n' Roses than Axl's new band. But that doesn't make what Axl has produced any less interesting in its own right.

So for me, Chinese Democracy is a success. Has it totally lived up to the hype? Maybe not. But could anything live up to this kind of hype?

Give it a listen and you tell me. I'm just pumped to have Axl back in the fold, and to see Guns - in whatever incarnation - relevant again.

UPDATE: here's a take by the LA Times. Interesting, even if the writer's love of her own voice makes me look positively concise by comparison... I mean, Ann Powers - get over yourself please. You're here to review albums, not masturbate on-screen. I need a nap after that review. Or a shower. I almost threw up reading this line: "Rose's music tells the saga of the mutually abusive relationship between the freight train's axle and the rose it crushes, a potentially poisonous flower that keeps growing back."

You've been warned.

Draper is a pimp

Anyone who knows anything about Draper, pimps, or anything else will acknowledge that Don Draper is a straight up pimp. The SNL send-up on how to have affairs with women may be the best skit this side of Wahlberg Talks to Animals. Love the resurgence of SNL this year by the way...and love Draper.



By the way...Coldplay could not be more pretentious if they tried. I mean OK, they have some awesome songs, but jesus guys, clean it up. I haven't wanted a studio to catch fire this badly since anytime Elizabeth Hasselbeck speaks.

Google Mail Goggles: Genius

Google Mail Goggles: Are You Sure You Want to Send That? - ReadWriteWeb

We're all guilty of it - the dreaded drunk dial. It's late, you're shit-hammered, and it makes perfect sense to call [insert ex / coworker / friend's sister / etc.] and initiate - or attempt to initiate - some major shenanigans. We are sure of this fact, as sure as anything in the world. So we pick up the phone and proceed to let our drunk selves dial up checks our sober selves sure as shit wish they hadn't cashed.

It rarely ends well.

When I was still in the game and such dalliances were a major hazard, Blackberries were just taking off but not yet mainstream, and text messaging hadn't yet swept the globe. Drunk emailing was the least of my worries. Today it's a different story - and while drunk texting offers many advantages, emailing under the influence can have some serious repercussions.

It's good to know the Google is looking out.

Tubes 1, Banks 0

Came across this innovative and awesome bank robbery on CNET this afternoon, and had to share. Pretty fuckin' cool way to rob a bank if you ask me - if I ever go that route, I'm sure as shit hiring decoys. And involving water toys always adds degree of difficulty points to your score. I believe this to be the first inner tube escape of the year unless I missed something crazy on the Truckee River this past summer...

According to King 5 in Seattle, "The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran." And that's not as easy as it looks - if I try to strip off my pants while running I usually trip and fall, cops chasing me or not.

Nice work guy.

Piling on Palin

OK, at this point I acknowledge it's piling on, but seriously, who wouldn't want to pile on Palin? And she could end up with the most high profile oval office job of any woman since Monica Lewinsky. (Had to reach to make that "job" joke work...and I would argue it doesn't really work...)

ROTD - almost a year later

I'm not a compulsive Yelper. In fact, I'm anything but. I love the service, and every time I need information on an eatery - ANY kind of information - Yelp is the first place I go (and they always deliver). But I don't feel compelled to review every spot I hit up, although I do try to keep the reviews coming from time to time.

Anyway, I had a note in my inbox tonight letting me know I had positive feedback on one of my old reviews. Never one to shy away from people saying nice things about me, I headed straight over to soak up a dose of affirmation. Much to my surprise, I found out my review had been awarded Review of the Day (ROTD). Another surprise to me is that I won ROTD for a review I wrote almost a year ago.

Guess they were just thinking it over. Glad they rendered a decision.

This is actually the second ROTD I've received - out of only 8 reviews, that ain't bad.

To read today's ROTD, click here. (To read my other ROTD, click here.)

Thanks Yelp, for the ROTD-induced broner.

Politics politics politics

Anyone who reads this blog or has the misfortune to spend time with me in real life can vouch for the fact that I'm probably not the most political person most of the time. Places you were historically least likely to find me include political conventions, voting booths or watching C-SPAN. However, this year's election has galvanized my interest, along with many other lazy Americans, for a variety of reasons - not the least of which is the buffoon who's been occupying the oval office for the past 8 years, and the realization that we can't have another 8 years of the same or similar.

How engaged in this year's campaigns are we as a nation? Well, extrapolating from my own personal experience, I'd have to say pretty fucking engaged. For example, yesterday I participated in a lengthy and (for us) pretty intelligent discourse about the election with my group of friends.

This may not seem like anything notable at a glance, but consider that 99% of our email conversations to this point have been about fantasy football, gambling, drinking, women, or relentless mockery of everything under the sun, and it's clear that a full-day back and forth about the state of our nation and the pros and cons of those who may end up running it is significant.

Bringing it back to familiar ground (drinking), I'll share today an email that was circulated by a friend of mine (thanks Ticks!!) that you should all consider as we prepare for tonight's vice presidential debate.

VP DEBATE DRINKING GAME (This email originated at MIT.)

In the blue corner, Joe "I take the train home" Biden. In the red corner Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin.

(My interjection: comment from a coworker after reading this, "if we follow the game we will all be wasted within the first 5 minutes. That is of course assuming the red team can follow anything Palin is saying.")

Blue Team Rules

- For every mention of Scranton, Pennsylvania: Take a sip.

- When Biden begins the "I take the train home everyday story" being drinking. Don't stop 'till he finishes.

- When Biden questions Palin's inexperience: Drink something you've never had before

- When Biden makes an obvious gaffe: Spill your neighbor's drink

- When Biden uses X words when Y will do: Drink X-Y seconds

- When Biden patronizes or self identifies with the working class: Down some brew (Bonus points if you use Miller Highlife)

- When Biden lambastes Washington Insiders: Make a toast to his 35 years of experience in the United States Senate

- The Joe Biden checklist. If he mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Blue Collar, Golden Parachute, Little Guy, Washington Insider, Working Class, Clean

Red Team Rules

- Every time Palin cites Alaska's proximity to Russia as "foreign policy experience": Take a shot of vodka

- When Palin claims she said "Thanks but no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere: Demand a new drink from your hosts, say "thanks but no thanks," and then when no one's looking, take it anyway, then claim you never wanted it.

- When Palin recounts putting the governor's jet on eBay: Auction off a beer to your friends

- When Palin insists that governing a small town in Alaska is in fact experience: Give your friend a shot glass of beer when he/she asks for a pint and insist it's the same thing.

- When Palin points out that Biden thought Obama was too inexperienced for the job: Finish your drink and say, "Oh Snap!" If you're a democrat, follow this by crying.

- When Palin claims that Washington's problems can be solved by small town know how and common sense: Drink a Labatt Blue as you read up on how to become a Canadian citizen.

- When Palin talks about being the most popular governor in the country: Go to a room by yourself, realize you're the most popular person in the room, then finish your drink.

- The Sarah Palin checklist. If she mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Bush Doctrine, Snow Machine, Moose, Lipstick, Hockey Mom, Family Values

More shenanigans here and here. And thanks to the same coworker for pointing those out!!

Game on

The wait is over. No editorializing needed, simply click here and follow the instructions to become a Showtime VIP member and watch Californication Season Two, Episode One.

Hank Moody is back with a vengeance, and I for one missed the shit out of him.

Enjoy, and you're welcome for the sneak preview. Oh - yes, I got a broner.

UPDATE -- the link above doesn't seem to be working right 100% of the time, so start here if you can't click directly to the video.

Broner time

The official Californication Countdown ticker is at 6 days, and anticipation is building. Showtime posted its behind the scenes teaser that gives us a look at what's to come in season two of the best show ever written, and I'm so fucking excited I'm almost considering calling my cable company to add Showtime rather than wait around for the pirated version to show up online each week...almost considering it.

After the recent barrage of life-imitates-art scandal from Duchovny, I'm guessing we'll be getting a season-long dose of vintage Moody. And you know I like my Moody vintage.

Behind the Music - GnR

Guns N Roses VH1 's Behind The Music
by novosibirsk

On the predictability scale, this post probably ranks close to a 10/10. And it needs no exposition from me. Enjoy.